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Monday, 6 February 2012

A first world problem


I’ve got a problem. I mean I’m realistic enough to know that it’s not a ‘real’ problem, but it’s pushing me closer to the edge each and every day.

It’s the office printer.  I think it hates me.

I’m wondering if taking a baseball bat to the printer counts as gross misconduct...

I imagine when the printer was invented it was a revolution: life changing, time saving. It took seconds to accomplish in print something that took hours on a typewriter.

Or at least it would if the toner didn't need replacing, the paper wasn't stuck, the drawer wasn't empty, the tray wasn't stacked, the page wasn't duplex, the cyan wasn't empty.

WHY DO YOU NEED CYAN TO PRINT IN BLACK INK?

Technology is meant to help us. Hold that thought..
.
Help! I’m jamming. I have 112 error messages. Imagine how much printing I could do if I didn’t have to deal with all these error messages.

My eyes are dim. My head hurts. I can’t focus. Every time I try to print something the red light starts flashing and I’m forced to check what’s stuck in drawer 2. Nothing is stuck. Again.

I could have written these letters by hand quicker.

What’s that? Be patient? BE PATIENT?

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Patience, eh. If only there was an app for that.

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