Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Personal ad: Friends Required. Do I even have a GSOH?

How do you make friends? No really. It’s a serious inquiry.  As a child the sole criteria of friendship is liking the same toy. Boom – you’re pals.

Seems it doesn’t quite work the same way at 29.

Now I have school friends, who knew me through the bad hairstyles, the teenage angst, the smirnoff ice. University friends, with whom I laughed, lived and drank jack daniels. And friends whom I have been lucky enough to pick up on my travels since then. Housemates, former work colleagues, friends of friends.

But having once again upped sticks and relocated to the actual arse end of nowhere, I’m at a bit of a loss. Sympathy is not what I’m looking for. I chose to move 600 miles to a place where I knew nobody. I am by the sea. I do have friends. But they’re not exactly here to pop out for a beer with are they? No they’re bloody not.

Obviously I have The Boyfriend, which is making the whole thing infinitely more enjoyable; but it would be nice to have a token friend whom I could meet for gin, or tea, or a non-drink based activity. And I know from previous experience that this friend-making-as-an-adult malarkey takes time. So I’m starting immediately.

Efforts to date:

1.    Went to book swap in local pub. Saw sign in the window, was brave and went alone. Beers and books – surely I’m going to like these people. And like them I did. But I also brought the average age down by at least 40 years. Beers drank 1. Friends made 0.

2.    Being lovely at new job. Naturally it’s a challenge to be smiley. Lots of friendly people who comment on my nice coat. Attended all work drinks in spirit of being social, but must accept these things are organic and take time. Did find lovely lady with whom could discuss The Big Reunion. Beers drank 6. Friends made 0.

3.  Yoga classes. Very enjoyable to align self with sea and all that, and bendyness coming along nicely. However, little opportunity for conversation, and definitely no beer. (Was brief titter when lovely prim lady farted, mind.) Beers drank 0. Friends made 0.

I suppose I did have a beer in the greengrocers when I popped in for groceries one evening, so there's another beer on the tally. 

But readers  where the heck you find like (ish) minded nice people who are looking to welcome you (or rather me) into their social life?

Answers on a postcard. Or in a tweet. Whichever.


  1. But no! Late 20s IS a tough time to relocate. I moved to Edinburgh at 28 and damn, it was tough. Made lots of friends by having a baby... possibly a drastic measure, mind.

  2. That isn't *quite* the advice I was looking for...

  3. Lol. Offer to be a guest blogger on:, take some lessons:, start following the people tweeting with: (is this Mike's blog?!)

  4. Get a dog. Not for friendship with the dog ( although that would be good) but for friendship with other dog walkers. Also gets exercise without having to do Yoga and you can blame the dog for the farting.

    But I agree, it's hard. Finding the same loving to Newcastle

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  6. In the quest for love, my lovely former neighbour trialled numerous different lady-seeking methodologies, I think including a billboard. All publicly documented in the national press. Think you should follow suit... kickstart writing career and gain friends (possibly insane friends)in one fell swoop. The Cornishman column awaits...

    Or get a dog, like the man says.

  7. Dog or a billboard around neck? What fine advice

  8. Hey!

    As someone who has moved a fair few times, I can totally relate to this. I've found that once you're already in a crowd, new friends just appear out of nowhere, but of course, getting into that crowd is what we're talking about.

    I've always found that working part-time in a bar is a good way to meet a heap of people. It seems like you've already got a job, but perhaps you could squeeze in a night a week? Especially if it is a place you like to drink yourself, it's a perfect excuse to chat to pretty much everybody else in the room!

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