Superscrimping, with Channel 4’s Waste Not Want Not

And so, last night, pen in hand, I tuned in, ready to find a whole host of tips worthy of Money Saving Madam.

First and foremost I find an impostor: Mrs Moneypenny. Apparently she’s from the Financial Times. With that hat I can’t believe it. Clearly she saves money by stealing her clothes from the Oompa-Loompas.

So:

 10 things I learned from watching Superscrimpers episode one.

1.       New knickers are not expensive. Dying my pants when they are looking ‘used’ will always be a Money-Saving step too far.

2.       You can make a dress solely out of face cloths. It is a triumph of both economy and ingenuity.

3.       Although it is a travesty that 50% of lettuce purchased in the UK goes in the bin, the answer to this problem is that people should admit what they know in their hearts: that they are salad-dodgers and thus require less lettuce. The answer is not reviving mouldy leaves from the bin.

4.       I would also have livestock and be self sufficient if I owned 30 acres of land.

5.       You can make apple wine for 11p a litre. Google research and blog post most likely to follow.

6.       Homemade nettle pasta does not look appetising, even if it is apparently good for water retention.

7.       A brand new Ford is not a crap car to be sniffed at.

8.       You can repair the worn cuff of a jumper by chopping off the top of an old sock and stitching this on. Do not be alarmed, you will not have ruined a good pair of socks. No, with a spot of careful hemming you have created a trendy pair of trainer socks.

9.       Picking up people’s dropped bank statements in the street is no longer shameful nosiness; it is research into the financial state of the nation. (The conclusion was: it is in a state.)

10.   If you’re really broke you can make bath oil using water out the toilet. Or something. I think I misunderstood that one.

So there are 10 things that occurred to me last night.

I already knew that a high percentage of people do not have savings, (this gives me comfort that I am not in a shameful minority) and that I would be annoyed if someone drove my ridiculously expensive 4x4 into my own shed.

I can’t wait for next week’s episode.

Oh, and if anyone has any unwanted face-cloths, mail me.

If you missed the show you can catch it here.