She was right. I didn't.
The Boyfriend produces a vast quantity of crumbs. To the point where I have begun to wonder if maybe he is a loaf of bread.
He keeps leaving windows unlocked – posing a serious risk of burglary. The other night he set the smoke alarm off at 3am due to a pork related incident.
I do not ask questions. But instead huff back to bed when I discover there is not, thankfully, a fire.
He tells me the following day that he thinks he ‘got off lightly for that one.’
Because to comment on being awoken at 3am, by the smoke alarm, owing to unattended grilled pork could only be the act of a NAGGING WOMAN, couldn’t it?
Women get most of the bad press when it comes to rowing. Men, if we are to stereotype, occasionally explode in fury. Women are more frequently annoyed by so-called minutiae. We are ‘apparently’ the ones who niggle and poke and prod and berate all day… We are the ones, in short, who nag.
So why do we nag? Well, frankly it’s because we can see, in blinding clarity, the consequences of your actions. If you leave the window open and we are burgled, we will not be insured and will have to replace all our stuff. This is upsetting, expensive and completely avoidable.
So is burning down the house.
So Boyfriend, the next time I advance at you with a list of complaints, I am not trying to moan, nag or otherwise berate.
Rather I am trying to keep us alive.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some crumbs to tidy up. We don’t want rats now do we...