On watching the John Lewis christmas advert
Me: so, what do you think? Were you moved?
The boyfriend: yeah, I suppose I was.
I'm really pissed off with the rabbit. I mean clearly the bear needs to sleep.
Me: But he'd never seen Christmas.
Oh, never mind.
If you haven't seen it yet you can shed a tear, or be annoyed at the hare, here
Showing posts with label conversations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conversations. Show all posts
Sunday, 10 November 2013
Monday, 2 September 2013
Solving one of life's mysteries: Conversations with the Boyfriend
On the contents of the washing machine
Me: Oh, I've been meaning to ask you. Do you know why there was pasta in the washing machine?
The Boyfriend: No. Well, I mean I did cook some pasta, and maybe some has got into the washing machine.
Me: Right. But I mean, any idea how it got in there?
The Boyfriend: Was it cooked?
Me: The pasta? Yes it was cooked.
The Boyfriend: But I mean, maybe it went in raw and cooked in the machine.
Me: I'm not sure a washing machine boils for 13 minutes.
The Boyfriend: Oh well, it's solved then. We know it was cooked before it went in.
Me: Yes, but why was it in the washer?
The Boyfriend: Oh that? Yeah I've got no idea.
----
For more conversations with the boyfriend, you should click here
Me: Oh, I've been meaning to ask you. Do you know why there was pasta in the washing machine?
The Boyfriend: No. Well, I mean I did cook some pasta, and maybe some has got into the washing machine.
Me: Right. But I mean, any idea how it got in there?
The Boyfriend: Was it cooked?
Me: The pasta? Yes it was cooked.
The Boyfriend: But I mean, maybe it went in raw and cooked in the machine.
Me: I'm not sure a washing machine boils for 13 minutes.
The Boyfriend: Oh well, it's solved then. We know it was cooked before it went in.
Me: Yes, but why was it in the washer?
The Boyfriend: Oh that? Yeah I've got no idea.
----
For more conversations with the boyfriend, you should click here
Friday, 15 February 2013
On relocation
Me: You know how we like going on holiday to Cornwall?
The Boyfriend: Yeah.
Me: And you know how we always say that we should live there
one day, what with the sun and beaches?
The Boyfriend: Yeah.
Me: Well how about one day being now?
Short pause.
The Boyfriend: Alright then.
And so it came to pass that we moved to St Ives.
Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Conversations with the Boyfriend: A surprising knowledge
On Gender
Stereotyping
Watching Match of the
Day
Me: “Oh look it’s Steven Fletcher.”
The Boyfriend: Stunned
expression. “How the bloody hell do you know that?”
Me: “Well he used to play for Wolves didn’t he, and then
Sunderland bought him when Wolves were relegated.”
The Boyfriend: “Yeah.”
Long pause.
“Do you know who that is?”
Me: “Yes that’s Martin O’Neill isn’t it?
The Boyfriend: “Do you know who he used to manage?”
Me: “Yeah – the Villa.”
The Boyfriend: “Where did that come from?”
Me: “I have no idea, but that is the end of the guessing game.
Thank you.”
On Wishes.
Me: “Ok, so you’re meant to hold onto the wishbone and make
a wish.”
The Boyfriend: “Ok.”
He closes his eyes.
Me: “I know you’re going to open your eyes, look at me, and
say, ‘oh it didn’t work.”
He opens his eyes.
The Boyfriend: “It’s like you know me.”
Monday, 1 October 2012
On Romance: Conversations with the Boyfriend
Champ
Watching Match of the day, relaxing.
The Boyfriend: You know, I’d give up Champ for
you.
*please note
Champ is Championship Manager, a football computer game.
Me: Bloody hell, that’s big.
Long pause
The Boyfriend: Actually, I may have been a bit hasty
there.
Me: What? So you wouldn’t give up Champ for me?
The Boyfriend: No. But I’d say that I would.
Long pause
Me: Thanks.
----------------------------------
‘Hilarity’
Watching tv dieting show, relaxing
Man on tv show to lady dieting: So your current weight is 31 stone.
The Boyfriend: Rach you’re no-where near that.
For more Conversations with The Boyfriend click here
Saturday, 23 June 2012
Musing on meat and burglars: Conversations with The Boyfriend
Missing Meat.
The Boyfriend: (on spotting sausages in the fridge) So it’s
over then?
Me: What’s over?
The Boyfriend: No
meat week.
Me: excuse me?
The Boyfriend: Yeah – I’ve been craving a bacon sandwich all
week, and I've realised it’s because we’ve had vegetarian food all week.
Me: Come on, that lentil curry was lovely.
The Boyfriend: Oh of
course. Just not as lovely as say – a chicken curry.
Me: Love, you had black pudding yesterday.
The Boyfriend: So I did.
-------------------------------------
If I had a hammer.
Lounging in the
bedroom, front door bangs with the wind.
Me: Oh, don’t worry it’s just the burglars.
The Boyfriend: Well if it is, I've got protection.
Me: What?
The Boyfriend: Yeh, the other night I thought I heard someone
breaking in, so I got a hammer – it’s under the bed.
Me: Right.
The Boyfriend: I’ll show you. (reaches under bed and
produces hammer.)
The Boyfriend: But don’t
worry – I put some tacs down there too – so if ever anything happens and I have
to use it, we can just say that I’d been hanging pictures.
Me: That’s alright then.
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